Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
