you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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