I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
