One girl and one boy is just not enough.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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