i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
