matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
