I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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