She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
