so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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