She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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