He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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