New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
