Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
