Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
