so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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