i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
