i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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