My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
