The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
