it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
