so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
