Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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