I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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