this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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