there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
