Porn is love you can see.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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