cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize