so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
