he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
