and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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