hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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