I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
