She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
