I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
