if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
