your parents love me but you hate me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize