bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
