I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
