i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
