I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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