Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
