can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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