The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
