I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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