TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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