Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
