hell yes lets make some ravioli
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
