Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
