living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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