I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
