OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
