so that wasnt chicken after all
She said her name was "party"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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