Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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