i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
try to milk me bitch
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
