Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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