Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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