it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
