I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The adults are the big ones right?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
