She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
