We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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