don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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